How to organize a trip to Equatorial Guinea in easy steps

It was a nice May afternoon in Zagreb....

I was resting a bit after lunch and about to go to my Croatian class. That's when, out of the blue, I received THE email: "Would you be interested in working in Malabo next August?" You have to tell me now, though."

I completely freaked out for the next three hours... and obviously I paid no attention to my Croatian language teacher. I was too busy weighing the whole situation. So I guess you already know what my answer was, right? I believe it was something short like... "Where do I have to sign?"

As you may know, my well-cultured reader, Equatorial Guinea is not in Europe (leave alone the Schengen Area)... so one does not simply walk into Malabo and say: "hi!". First there's heaps of bureaucracy...

WAIT!! What are you doing with that syringe?! AHH, STOP THAT!! You cheeky little bastard...!

Yes, you guessed it right. Before even thinking about going to a tropical area you must check the health recommendations and regulations and get a few tiny holes up your forearm. If you don't like helicopter-sized mosquitoes and sweltering heat, the good E.G. is not your country... but even if you don't mind these you'll have to get a few vaccines:

- Yellow fever (mandatory).

- Diphteria

- Hepathitis A and B

- Typhoid fever

- Cholera

- Oh... and don't forget a recipe for your favourite antimalarial medication... and... well, a booster injection of tetanus wouldn't hurt either!

I know your arm hurts, but do not get depressed (not yet). All these had a purpose, and that was getting this wonderful-magical-superspecial -and most importantly, yellow- International Certificate of Vaccination issued by the World Health Organization (it even has its emblem on the cover) and signed by your doctor. And 100% free!! Well... not really, you have to pay. But not much, don't worry!

Bureaucracy, papers, papers... FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, MAN! I CAN SEE YOUR KNEES!! 

Now that you have your yellow vaccination thingy, you're almost ready to apply for your visa. First we need a letter of invitation from the person we are going to visit/work for or the hotel where we're gonna stay. Also, you'll need a criminal record certificate... In Spain, at least, the cheapest and fastest option is to apply for it directly at the Ministry of Justice (it should take 10 minutes and it should cost you less than 4€ -an agency will charge you 80/100€ and it may take a couple of weeks). 

So NOW you're ready to apply for your visa. Wait, if it's late spring or summer and the day is dry and hot you may want to reconsider the clothes you're wearing. You may dress however you like: Tony Manero-style or in a discreet combination of purple and yellow... just DO NOT WEAR SHORTS. They won't let you in the embassy in shorts.

This is an unrelated picture from Zadar (Croatia). I'm the guy in white with the Jeff "The Dude"-looks. I know my legs are not a national treasure, but I doubt they offend anyone. And for the record, I was wearing exactly the same clothes to the embassy.

Suitcase, suitcase, plasma TV, suitcase, laptop computer, suitcase...

Flying from Madrid to Malabo is quite easy. There's daily direct flights and they're not too expensive (I must say they're not too cheap either). 

If you're the kind of people who rush to the airport on the last second... I wouldn't do it this time, they may not let you in the flight. There seems to be (from what they told me and what I could see) a chronic excess baggage problem in the Madrid-Malabo flights. People tend to bring back to G.E. heaps of electronical devices that would cost heaps more in good old mother Africa.

I swear I could see several empty seats once I was in the plane, but the company offered me to fly the following day. Overweight within the plane seemed to be a problem, and they had to compensate the excess of some passengers by leaving empty seats ta the plane.

Passport control and Toto 

Six hours later and after enjoying the wonderful delicattessen from Iberia (remind me to write an article about the different kinds of food I've eaten in different means of transport)... you're in Malabo (former Santa Isabel). As we got off the plain, and felt the calid, humid and rainy climate... I kept on playing in my head the chorus of Toto's most famous song. Temperature in Malabo is not so bad, but humidity is constant... it embraces you in an outburst of passion and does not let you go until you're leaving the country.

Just one thing... DO NOT PANIC if they hold your passport for a while at the airport. That seems to be just another security check. You'll have to pass another one later on, and then you're free to stretch your legs, take a taxi and go to your hotel.

I promise to write another article sometime soon about Malabo, but just (and quoting Syrio from Game of Thrones) "not today".